Friday, December 5, 2008

Chinese Restuarant -- A Good Home?

My b.f., BF doesn't like my dog. How one could possibly dislike lil Ruthy I do not know, but he is sticking to that story. Even when hand picking little tidbits from the leftovers and making a hot water gravy with them to go over her kibble, he will tell you he wants to drop a brick on her...or tie balloons to her and float her away....or tape her to the street in front of his house and back over her. Good times.

A couple weeks ago, the lack of lil Ruthy love got to me and I told BF that if he found her a good home, I would let her go. I posed this option not only to get him to shut his pie hole, but also out of a sense that I know my enemy. BF self motivates to coordinate for work, food and bj's; he's not going to go looking for a home for my dog. Plus, I know he thoroughly enjoys complaining about her and if he gave her away, that goes out the window.

So I was feeling pretty secure tonight when we ordered Chinese take-out for dinner. When the food arrives, the doorbell rings and sends Ruth into a barking frenzy. As BF pays the small Asian man who delivered our food, I overhear a conversation from the kitchen.

BF - "You want a dog?"
Small Asian Man - "No."
BF - "You sure? It's a good dog."
Small Asian Man - "No, No."
BF - "Come on...."
Small Asian Man - "You Serious?" [leans around the corner sizing up lil Ruthy]
BF - "Nah, I better not. She will get pissed at me. Next time you come though, when she is not here, you can have it."
[Small Asian Man smiles approvingly and then exits]

He tried to give lil Ruthy to a Chinese restuarant! Are you fucking kidding me?! Small dog. Chinese Restaurant. Come on! How is that a good home?! We had an agreement. My trust is shattered, bj's are going to be ancient history, and I dare say lil Ruthy looks shaken.

I just informed BF of today's post topic and I got "If you are talking smack about me on there, I am going to blow up your computer!"

No one is safe.


BF said...

small asian man is mandarin like those little oranges

Freebird said...

I would have to agree that the chinese restaurant would not be a good home. mainly because i wouldn't want kung pow lil ruthie next time i ordered. however, making bjs history just because of a failed first effort is a little harsh.

shannon said...

Rick is always telling my dogs to go play on the freeway, but it's all crap, he loves them. I think your bf really has secret love for Ruthie but is too manly to admit it :)

Daniella said...

Ahh yes, a little support from the National Alliance Against Moratoriums On BJ's.....thank you Freebird!

Btw, I love that your main objection to lil Ruthy being sold down the chow mein river is that *you* don't want to eat her. What about the fundamental horror of it all?! Sheesh.

I think Shannon has hit the nail on the head though.

Freebird said...

NAAMOBJs would make a great T-shirt.