Friday, August 28, 2009

Letting Go

Another song has been running through my head again. Just like the last time it is not a song I feel particularly attached to, or even remember much about.

Letting Go by Suzy Bogguss is the tune. It's a country song [don't judge] from the early 90s [Seriously, stop judging me] about a young girl going off to school; leaving behind the comfort zone of her kid-dom.

Only a couple of lines of it have come to me.

There's nothing in the way now,
Oh letting go, there's room enough to fly
And even though, she's spent her whole life waiting,
It's never easy letting go.

Letting go - it isn't ever really all that easy, is it?

There seems to be so many little fingers that come with it. Our hearts have them, our minds have them, our ego, our pride, our fear of suffering. All these steely grips keeping us in place - hanging on.

Whether we are excited for the next phase of the journey, bittersweetly moving on, or thrust into the change that is beyond our control, it seems we all are faced with some degree of resistance to letting go.

Right before this song piece came to visit me, I had made a decision to return a material item from someone I had to let go of recently.

I've got all my figurative digits dug in on this one too. I don't want to feel bad, it is a damn nifty material item [Do I really have to let it go?], I don't want my choices leading to someone thinking ill of me, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, I don't want to move forward in some ways because I keep analyzing and then reanalyzing my decision.

Despite it all though, I am loosening my grip because I want to be true to myself.

And isn't that what this is all about anyway? This short, difficult, precious, precarious, wonderful life is really just a stab at standing staunchly in the truth of who we are. Can we come full circle on letting go by holding fast to ourselves.

Today I made one small step for letting go and one big[ish] step for Daniella.

So now I think I know why my brain has been entertaining this little diddy all day. My subconscious was just stopping by to weigh in on the sitch and remind me that while these things are never easy, they do indeed make room for us to fly.

This is me getting ready to fly.

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