Monday, July 6, 2009

Grande Pessismisto?

I have to work really hard at being optimistic. I just don't have light roots. My tethers are darker and heavier than many. This is not to say that I am always in Half Empty mode. I meant it when I wrote I work hard to spend most of my time at Half Full. I think I have made some pretty good strides over the years, but I suspect if I didn't work at it, I could be a Grande Pessismisto - no foam, extra whip of course.

So this morning I am sitting at my desk thinking that this all is just fucking great. By "all" I mean my life. I got into this head space where I am wondering where the hell I am going and what am I doing anyway? I even made a list for god knows what reason.

I will spare my vast readership the oodles of optimism embedded in the list. Highlights include being a lard ass, one of my neighbors wanting to sue me (and not for having said lard ass), and a couple of fall-on-my-face failures.

So where am I going with this? We all have problems. It always occurs to me how inherently lazy and spoiled it is of me to sit and complain -- even to myself .

I need to turn this around.

Stoopid, (I like to spell it that way) self-congratulating Oprah always talks about her stoopid gratitude journal....."Write five things everyday for which you have gratitude". Whatever Oprah.

But still, it is a good idea.

Let's see if I can turn my mental frown into at least a straight face...

1. I live in Santa Cruz. I may have crappy neighbors, and a little isolation going on, but it could get a hell of a lot worse than owning a home in a coastal Northern California town.

2. I have choices and resources. e.g., I can choose to learn from my failures and take that into my future. I can afford to bolster my job training with some online courses (even if it is boring-ass, tedious bookkeeping).

3. My brother showed up in the middle of my Monday Mental Meltdown and offered to run an errand for me, make a repair to my vehicle, and replace my broken smoke alarm. Thanks bro!

4. I am a fortunate person -- I have food in my fridge, I'm not schizophrenic, I won a free rent lottery once, etc.

5. There's a donut in my kitchen right now....and some hot coffee.

Bonus two things because I like the number seven as much as I like the number five.

6. There are some awesome people out there who care about me. -- Not much more to say than that -- it's a huge gift.

7. I have Now. The potential is limitless.

Now you do it. What fills you with gratitude?

And let's be original people -- no, "Well I don't have Schizophrenia either - done."


shannon said...

1. I woke up this morning, that's always a good thing.
2. My husband and my dogs love me.
3. I have a good job, a nice house and enough money in my savings to go to a store and pretty much buy whatever I want. Not that I would it's just the security factor.
4. I'm back to being in my office fulltime instead of split between two departments, which means if I come in late no one knows (this is awesome).
5. I'm not in a wheelchair like the person I love. (whenever I'm feeling down, fat and depressed I think of this, because I couldn't deal with it like him)
BONUS #6. I have a great friend named Daniella who makes me laugh and doesn't seem to realize how important that gift is to people.

Daniella said...

Nice -- that's some good stuff there! Love #6 -- thanks lady! : )

Shelley, Nick, and Baby G said...

1) I have a beautiful and healthy baby boy!
2) I am surrounded by my family every day - and I love that!
3) You (Daniella) were the first Giacalone (besides Nick) that I got to know really well when Nick and I started dating...we spent so much time together at Dom and Angie's wedding and I felt so welcome!
4) I found my "dream job" at 25.
5) I am healthy and so are my loved ones!

Daniella said...

Shelley - nice! Another great list! We did have fun that day at Dom and Angie's wedding. You helped me get over my shys and get some of those pics taken! Whew! : )