Power Gem Activate!

I just clicked on a blog and was totally surprised to see this as their top post for the day.

The subject matter and even more specifically, the color, reminded me of this one time after beauty camp.

Okay, not so much camp -- college.

I finished* a skin care program at a ... you know ... school of beauty about 5 years ago.

Anywho, two of my friends went in on this lavender, sparkly, multi-featured, sleek, racy sports car of a vibrator to help me "celebrate" my graduation from beauty college (there - I said it, happy?).

I thanked them profusely for the very thoughtful gift. After all, they sincerely did have my happiness in mind when they chose it. However, when they left, I threw it in the bottom of my sandal basket. I don't know exactly why, but it just didn't really interest me.

A year later, I went to dig through that basket and give a few things away, and there it was. Looking as shiny and new as the day I hucked it in there.

Sometimes my mind wanders and I daydream about who ended up with the brand new vibrator I donated to Goodwill.

Did an employee snag it before it even made it to the warehouse? Did a manager angrily confiscate it, while making an immediate beeline for the bathroom, muttering how awful people are with the things they will put in bags to the Goodwill? Or maybe it got a price tag and a prime spot in the electronics section, where someone down on their luck was slurking to the back hoping against all hope that Goodwill might have a new Power Gem for an affordable price. Amen.


*I hesitate to use "graduated" because mixing "graduated" and "beauty college" together in the same sentence is a real witch's brew of Mondo Loserdom

Oh Grated Butter and Sports Bras, How You Liberate Thee!

Necessity is the mother of invention, right? Well forgetfulness has to be the daddy then. Or maybe it's more of a bitter younger sib to invention, always trying to feed off of the limelight. Pain in the ass piggybacker that can't be disow-What? Oh yeah, anywho -- I digress....

Almost every time I set out to bake something, I forget to take out the butter to soften ahead of time. No matter how far in advance my baking is planned out, my reflex to pull the butter out of the fridge fails me.

Lamenting this to my step mom one day, she told me that she grates her butter into her recipes when she forgets to take it out in time to soften.

What is this genius idea of which you speak?! I don't have to wait or screw up the recipe? Sweet!

It works too, grates easier than cheese even and incorporates right into the recipe.

The rare occasions that I remember to warm my butter, seem to coincide with completely spacing on the fact that the eggs are supposed to be room temperature in most recipes too. Dammit!

The saving innovation for that, I came up with myself. I nestle the fridge chilly eggs into my bra. I do. Works like a charm. My boobs, like two hens brooding side by side in a nesting box, warm those bad boys right up. And in a fraction of the time it would take just leaving them out on the counter. If you have boobs, or know someone that does, I suggest you try it.

Sour cherry buttermilk cake ~ brought to you courtesy of grated butter and boob-warmed eggs. Don't judge me.