25 Random Things

This survey is everywhere lately, and as a huge fan of both trends and peer pressure, I have decided to do one.

Please familiarize yourself with the rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

I am not tagging anybody though [primarily out of my shame-filled, painful tag memories of standing all alone on the edge of the schoolyard during recess waiting for someone to notice I hadn't been tagged...sniff, sniff].

1. I am left handed.

2. I love books. The way certain people put words together is just amazing and these little literary tidbits will nestle in my head for years.

3. Sometimes as I am falling asleep, I remember something I am going to get to eat the next day, and I get very happy.......drift off with a big smile on my face, I'm sure.

4. When I see super fat people I almost immediately wonder how much they sweat and how pungent their genital/bum region is as a result of being so well "insulated".

5. My long term goal is to escape to Sicily and live out my Golden Years with a hot houseboy that I sexually harass on a daily basis -- and he loves it!

6. I am a college graduate -- beauty college -- yeah, good times.

7. Even though I am an animal lover, I am often enraged by our country's habitual overspending on animals [think Petco, Petsmart, and the ASPCA's $30 mil new facility in San Francisco]. Is all of that really necessary in order for you to take proper care of an animal? Really?

8. I have a crush on Christopher Walken, and would run away with him if he ever came for me.

[This survey is a little more difficult than I suspected, and I am fighting the urge to only add things I think are amusing or entertaining.]

9. In my mid-twenties, I was the only person I knew holding the Death/Near Death Trifecta with a father who had been in a 7 week coma when I was 4, a deceased mother by 7, and a husband who had passed away by the time I was 26.

[Now that wasn't funny - aforementioned urge thoroughly staved]

10. I struggle on a daily basis to not take it personal.

11. All religious stuff aside, I love Christian iconography...hence the Last Supper in one of my bathrooms and the crosses around the house.

12. I get very happy browsing Italian stores. Lupini, Calamari, Marscapone, San Marzano region tomatoes, Cannoli, and Ricotta -- I heart you big time!

13. I still make crank phone calls. Quick shout-out apology to Curtis: Melissa from Mountain Charley's was me, soooo that whole "I missed my period, you better call me!" thing was a false alarm........funny though, right?

14. If I don't pee right before I get into bed, I can't fall asleep.

15. Being a true believer of Alexander Hamilton's theory that "the masses are asses", I do not really care for crowds or population density in general.

16. I believe donuts, mayonnaise, lemons, cheese and wine are all ways that a higher power shows love for me.

17. I hate when people tell me that I am loud, because it reminds me that I do not hear well.

18. If I have done something to help someone, or make them smile, then I consider that day a productive one.

19. One time in preschool this little jerk peed on me in the bathroom, so I bit my arm and told the teacher it was him. He got in big trouble -- take that you little terrorist!

20. I love when I tell a good story and people remember it and ask me to tell it again.

[I feel like the loaves and fishes miracle is taking place with these g.d. numbers! When are we going to get to 25 already?!]

21. I wish that I felt confident in a career field, so that I would be motivated to pursue it with abandon.

22. I secretly believe that I should have focused on more gym time in my 20s and subsequently would have had a better shot at becoming someone's trophy wife. As a career, that would have freed me up to found and run all of the organizations I have thought up. Damnit!

23. I am easily overwhelmed by the amount of discipline it takes for me not to be an asshole.

24. I think some struggling and suffering in this life is the only path to gaining a little depth.

25. I have a horrible habit of etching every little awkward thing I have done into my brain, so that I can relive the moment over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over......

As soon as I post this, I am going to think of 25 "better" things I could have put on here.