Officer Douchebag

I loan money to friends, and on one occasion, a family member. I know, I know -- worst thing in the world to do. Ruins relationships, right?

Right! This last one has come full circle to bite me in my ample ass. I hate when that happens...

Reader's Digest version: A few years ago I loaned a sizable amount of cash-ish to someone I was currently dating.

Let me digress here: Loaning money to a person you are dating is the coup de grace on stupid money moves. Take the emotionally charged environment already existent, and flame it up with some good ole cash now being open between you two, and voila! You got yourself a nice hot financial mess! Yummy.

Anyway, back on track here.... Not long after said loan, we break up. Whateves. It happens. Officer Douche Bag [name has been changed to protect even the not-so-innocent, but I will provide a pic so you have an ass to put with the story.] signed a legally binding promissory note at the time the loan was made. Built in to that note, is an agreement that monthly payments will be made.

Within two months, checks are bouncing and I am getting every lame excuse ODB can extract from his ass.

The real ass in this story is me though. I let him get away with the theatrics, and the use of my money for about two years.

Last night I talk to ODB and he runs the gamut of ridiculousness throughout. He starts off all business, then he swings to being under the impression that he could keep the money (yeah, that is what signed promissory notes are for) after that he goes on to claim he is a victim of big bad me, then he tries to buy time by saying he is newly married and has to discuss all of this with his wife, and then.........and I love this part........you are going to love it as well...........wait for it..............he thanks me.

I shit you not, he tries to express gratitude for my loaning him the money in the first place -- when he needed it.

Hmmm....

I may be a bit slow, but trying to steal my money doesn't really shout out 'thank you'. It's more screaming of 'I'm an a-hole!', don't you think?

You have taught me a great lesson though ODB, never again will I be able to walk into a situation where I think I can help someone, and do it without a little doubt of their sincerity.

Thanks for that you ass!